Hits & Mrs. Page 4

  Little did Claudia know that Gil was on the cusp of success. Suddenly he was calling himself Gil Godsend, and he had his own television show, Between Heaven and Earth with Gil Godsend. His face was plastered everywhere. He was interviewed on radio and television chat shows. His books were on the bestsellers lists and piles of them were stacked high in stores where he did signings for lines of giggling women. Claudia soon found herself in the uncomfortable position where she was assigned to investigate Gil’s psychic abilities. She pleaded to be relieved of the duty because her former connection to him was an obvious conflict of interest, but she was pressured into the work. They wanted her on the job because she had the lowdown on him. She hated having to read her ex-boyfriend’s books, watch hours of footage from his psychic readings, and wear silly disguises to hide from him when she was forced to attend his public performances.

  Claudia wrote dozens of articles exposing Gil as a charlatan. She showed how he used simple parlor tricks that can be replicated by magicians, who do them better... She pointed out that there was a disclaimer at the end of Gil’s TV shows that admitted his psychic readings were “for entertainment purposes only”. She revealed that his inaccurate readings were spliced together to make them seem accurate or they were edited out entirely. She explained that people only pay attention to the times he seemed to be accurate in his readings - the hits, but they tend to ignore his mistakes - the misses.

  On many occasions, she caught Gil when he made embarrassing errors in his readings. There was the time he told a woman she would be pregnant within six months, but she divulged that she had just undergone a hysterectomy. Another time he spoke about a man’s cravings for seafood, but the guy said that he suffered a severe shellfish allergy. His worst gaffe was when he predicted that a teenage girl was dead, but she was soon found to be alive and well. She was hiding from her parents and had taken a job as a stripper at a nightclub in Las Vegas. Gil tried to weasel out of his error by saying that her parents were so embarrassed by her behavior that she was “dead” to them.

  Claudia was seen as an expert on Gil Godsend by the media. She was invited to do radio and television interviews to talk about why she didn’t believe he was psychic although most interviewers didn’t care to hear what she had to say. “Skeptic” is a dirty word, and she was accused of being negative, closed-minded, and cynical. She tried to talk about how much damage Gil did to people who were grieving for their dead loved ones, but most audiences just wanted to know the juicy gossip about Gil. When she was dating Gil did he always predict what she was about to say? What was he like in bed? He dumped her, right? Surely it wasn’t the other way around…

  Claudia didn’t have sour grapes over a relationship that went bad. It was her job to be skeptical about the paranormal, and Gil Godsend’s claims in particular, although she was accused of being a biased bitch by his followers. It didn’t matter how many “gotchas” Claudia uncovered about Gil, his zealous fans made excuses for him and attacked her. They set up hate websites that mocked her and she received hate mail daily. One psycho fan sent her handwritten death threats in sympathy cards mailed from all around the country and she had to report the matter to the police.

  By this time she was seriously over skepticism. The movement was a viper’s den of malicious factions. The few leaders of the movement considered themselves to be celebrities. These were the geeks who were picked on by bullies in high school. Now they were big fish in a small pond but they didn’t know how to play well with others. As a token female in the community, Claudia found some skeptical men to be sleazier than her client’s husbands. They delighted in accusing famous psychics, evangelists, and self-help gurus of abuses, but they were hypocrites who were oblivious to their own failings. The skeptical movement suffered many scandals of misogyny, harassment, and financial mishandlings. There were some good people around, but they drifted away from all of the drama. Feeling bitter and disillusioned, Claudia broke up with skepticism too.

  She quit her job and moved to San Francisco where she found herself a nice little apartment in Hayes Valley, with the emphasis on little. Claudia discovered that her investigative journalism skills translated well to private investigation, and she got herself a job working as a decoy in spouse surveillance for a detective agency. She eventually founded her own business that became quite successful. Claudia was happy and fulfilled, for the most part. She was still looking for a man, but who wasn’t looking for a man in San Francisco?

  Seeing Gil’s name after all of these years felt like a poison seeping throughout her body. Claudia felt sorry for this Kate Thompson but she didn’t want to get involved. She ignored the woman’s email. Gil was her past. Skepticism was her past. And she didn’t want to revisit either again. Gil even emailed her a few years ago. She was surprised to find that this wasn’t to criticize her for what she did to him, but just to say “hello” and to see how she was doing.

  She never replied.

  Claudia dressed in a pair of low-rise capri pants and a revealing sports bra and left for her “date” with the personal trainer at the gym.

  Chapter 4

  Rainbow Woods didn’t want to host one of those boring Tupperware parties or a lingerie party, she wanted a psychic party instead. She sprang for a group reading with psychic medium Gil Godsend at her place. It cost her a small fortune. She wanted to make the most of it, so all of her friends were going to be there, and her sisters Sunshine and Breeze. Yes, their parents were flower children during the 1960s. Their mother Daisy was one of Ken Kesey’s Merry Pranksters, the group who traveled around the country introducing people to LSD at their infamous Acid Tests. Daisy was such an expert in free love that the three sisters each had a different father. Their hippy names seemed groovy at the time, but today they made the three middle-aged women feel silly. The saying goes, don’t trust anyone over 30, but you had to trust people over 30 when you were in your 50s. And if Rainbow’s father didn’t stop shaking the cage and start working for the man she wouldn’t be living in a nice house in Tiburon. The place was no commune. It had six bedrooms and panoramic views of the Golden Gate Bridge and the San Francisco Bay.

  The doorbell rang but Rainbow wasn’t expecting her guests for at least another hour. She opened the door thinking she’d find those damn Mormon missionaries again, but instead Gil Godsend stood on her doorstep. He was even more strikingly handsome than he appeared on television. He towered over Rainbow who looked him up and down until she realized that she’d been caught in the act. She also realized she was only wearing makeup and a bathrobe. She looked like she was straight out of a scene in a bad British comedy where the bored housewife has sex with the milkman while he’s on his rounds of the neighborhood.

  “Hello, Mrs. Woods,” Gil said in his deep, smooth voice.

  A fantasy flashed through her mind in which Gil pushed her up against the wall, pressed his body against hers, and kissed her passionately. Her husband passed away eight years ago and it had been far too long since she’d been with a man.

  “Mr. Godsend, I didn’t expect to see you standing there!” she managed to splutter as a blush spread across her face. He was psychic. He could probably read her dirty mind.

  “Well, I have a magnificent view from here, Mrs. Woods.”

  Did he just say what she thought he said? He must have meant the view from the house. Then she noticed that she was flashing a thigh through her parted robe.

  “Thank you!” she said, still gawking at him as he stood waiting on the porch.

  “Um…May I come inside?” Gil asked.

  Rainbow looked at him lustfully as she contemplated that possibility. Then she finally snapped out of her daydream. “Oh, of course! The guests haven’t arrived yet. Let me give you a tour of the place.”

  She grabbed him by the arm and showed him the lagoon-shaped swimming pool and inbuilt spa that overlooked the Bay. “Clothing optional”, she said cheekily. She took Gil into her library where she had a shelf full of his books. She led him down into
the basement to the bar room where he broke free from her grasp and made a beeline for the snooker table.

  “That’s a Burroughs and Watts billiard table!” he gasped as he ran his hands over the green baize. “Such exquisite craftsmanship.” He inspected the table closely. “You know, I think this particular model was once owned by Queen Victoria at Osborne House on the Isle of Wight.”

  “That’s right!” Rainbow confirmed. Wow! This guy sure knew his antiques.

  “Prince Albert was a keen player,” said Gil who hadn’t taken his eyes off the table.

  “Are you a player too?” she asked with mock innocence.

  Gil looked up at her and grinned. “I’ve played a few rounds in my time,” he said as he picked up a red pool ball and held it up to the light. “These handmade ivory balls are superb!” he enthused. “They’re the perfect shape, color, and weight, without any cracks or chips.”

  Rainbow liked a man who knew his balls. She picked up a cue and began caressing it mindlessly.

  “How handy are you with your stick?” she asked with a flick of her hair.

  “I’m pretty good at aiming for the pocket,” he boasted. He took the cue from her and marveled at the hand-spliced ebony butt. “I can see that you polish your hardwood shafts,” he said.

  “I like the feel of a silky smooth glide,” she said with a wink. “Perhaps I can show you my skills right now?”

  Gil stepped back with a playful look of shock.

  “Mrs. Woods, are you flirting with me?”

  “Would that be so wrong?” she asked coyly and then bit her lip.

  “I’m very flattered,” he said. “You’re a beautiful woman.”

  Rainbow took him by the arm, skipped the tour of the five guest bedrooms and led him straight to hers.

  “This is my bedroom…and this is my bed,” she said pointedly as she plopped down on it with a bounce. She smoothed the red satin comforter with her hands. “Why don’t you come join me?” she asked with a sultry smile.

  Gil cleared his throat. “I can’t take advantage of a client, Mrs. Woods,” he said.

  “Perhaps it’s me taking advantage of you,” she replied.

  “I’m here for business, not pleasure,” he said firmly.

  “I’m happy to pay you for services rendered,” she said, surprised at herself for being so forward.

  “Perhaps if we’d met under different circumstances…”

  “Well, okay then,” she pouted. “For a minute there your looks reminded me of my asshole husband anyway.” She hopped off the bed and aimed for the door.

  “Yes, he’s been here with us the whole time,” said Gil mysteriously. He grabbed her by her arm and spun her back towards him. With his eyes locked on hers he pushed her up against the wall, pressed his body against hers, and kissed her passionately. “This is what you were thinking, wasn’t it?” he breathed in her ear.

  “Oh… God yes,” she moaned. It was exactly as she’d imagined in her fantasy. Was he reading her mind? She was already wet and she could feel his hardness pressed against her. “What am I thinking now?” she asked.

  Gil tore off her bathrobe and threw her down on the bed. He slipped off his belt, slid off his pants and climbed on top of her.

  “You’re thinking about this,” he said as he slipped inside of her.

  She closed her eyes and groaned. “Mmm… you’re right…I’m glad you came early.”

  “No, I didn’t,” he said with a grin.

  An hour later, Rainbow emerged from the bedroom, looking slightly disheveled. Using her pinkie finger she fixed her lipstick in the corners of her mouth and patted down her hair. Most of her guests had already arrived and were wondering where she was.

  “I was just showing Mr. Godsend around my…um, house…” she explained to the living room full of women.

  She had transformed the room into an ashram, just like the one at the base of the Velliangiri Mountains in Tamil Nadu, India, to which she made an annual pilgrimage. The lights were switched off and candles burned around the room. Flowers were strewn across the floor. Brass statues of the Hindu deities sat on the mantelpiece and an Om flag flew above. The air was thick with the scent of sandalwood and musk wafting from incense sticks that competed with the smell of expensive perfume. Her guests looked out of place wearing haute couture and sipping glasses of champagne as they sat in the lotus position on meditation cushions. There was a tall wooden stool in the middle of the room for Gil. Everyone was anxiously awaiting the reading.

  “Where is Mr. Godsend?” asked Rainbow. “And where is Sunshine?”

  As if on cue, Gil made his entrance. He looked impeccable in a teal blue three-piece suit, mint-colored shirt, and emerald silk tie.

  “Good evening, ladies,” he said to a ripple of nervous giggles across the room. This was the sexy voice they all knew from his TV show! “My name is Gil Godsend and I’m a psychic medium. This means that I communicate with the dead.” He sat down on the wooden stool. “I need to state upfront that I don’t know anything about anybody here. I’ve never met any of you ladies before today.” He looked around the room at them all, his piercing blue eyes taking on an eerie quality in the candlelit room. “I love these small gatherings… They’re so much more…intimate,” he said as he shot a look at Rainbow. “You all have loved ones who’ve passed and it’s my job to reconnect you with them. I can see them, I can feel them, and I can hear them.” He stood up and walked among the cushions dotted on the floor. “I’ll validate my readings by sharing information I couldn’t possibly know if I wasn’t in communication with your friends and family who’ve crossed over.”

  Sunshine entered the room at that moment, looking slightly disheveled. She tugged on her skirt and patted down her hair. “Don’t mind me,” she said as she sat down cross-legged on a purple meditation cushion.

  “If everyone is here then let’s begin,” said Gil as he closed his eyes and took several deep breaths. Then he opened his eyes slowly and looked around the room.

  “I have a husband energy,” he said. “I’m getting an “A” name, like Adrian or Adam. Who is this, please?”

  “Adam was my husband,” replied Rainbow with a frown.

  “Then this is for you,” said Gil. “He says to tell you the date March 15. Do you understand what that means?”

  “Yes,” she said. “That was our wedding anniversary, but he never remembered it when he was alive,” she sneered.

  Gil’s body was suddenly seized by a fit of shaking. “I feel very weak and unsteady,” he said. “My heart is pounding… I feel so hot but my hands are cold.” He turned pale and beads of sweat appeared on his brow. “I’m craving sugar…I’m so hungry…” He snapped out of his trance. “Can you explain this?”

  “I can,” replied Rainbow. “Adam had Type 1 diabetes. He had a severe attack of hypoglycemia, fell into a coma and died two days later,” she said with a blank expression on her face.

  Gil paused. “I get the impression that you and Adam weren’t close at the time of his death,” he said. She nodded. “Adam… betrayed you somehow…”

  “That’s right,” she said.

  “He was unfaithful to you…”

  “Yes…” she replied as she shot a dirty look at Breeze and Sunshine.

  “With your sisters…”

  “Yes,” she said with tears in her eyes. Thinking about his death didn’t make her cry, but thinking about the day she fell out of love with him did. That was when she discovered that he’d had a long-standing affair with Breeze and a one-night stand with Sunshine.

  “Adam says he’s sorry… but he’s glad you had that time together earlier today,” said Gil.

  What did he mean by that?

  “Adam begs for your forgiveness,” added Gil.

  “I’ve heard that one before,” she said impassively.

  “He also tells you to stop holding grudges,” said Gil.

  How dare Adam say that to her from beyond the grave? After all of these years she still wasn
’t over it. How does anyone get over that kind of betrayal? In some ways, she was glad when he died. She had hoped to hear from her mother or her aunt today, not her womanizing asshole of a husband.

  “I’m getting pulled in a different direction,” said Gil. “I’m sensing the presence of a young woman…She has a very strong energy… She’s standing here beside me and holding a beautiful bouquet of flowers… I’m getting that she has a flower name that begins with “D”, like Dahlia or Daisy.”

  “Daisy is our mother!” cried Rainbow excitedly.

  “Your mother has just come through… She’s been waiting patiently here all day for this reading… She’s so excited that you’re all here,” said Gil. He paused. “She’s named after a flower and she was also a flower child… She has long blonde hair and grey doe eyes that she outlines with thick black eyeliner.” Rainbow and her sisters nodded. This was definitely their mother. This guy was good. The psychic they invited last year guessed that their mother was still alive.

  “She’s wearing a short crochet dress in an ivory color,” said Gil. “And she has a headband of daisies.”

  Rainbow and her sisters looked at each other with wide eyes.

  “That was the dress she was buried in,” whispered Rainbow with tears in her eyes again. She could still remember her mother’s funeral when she was just 8-years-old. Her aunt Indigo lifted her up so she could peer into the coffin and see her mother one last time. Her mother’s beautiful, peaceful face still haunted her dreams.

  “I’m getting a December connection,” said Gil.

  “Mom passed in December,” said Rainbow.

  “She wasn’t ready to die… It wasn’t her time yet… She’s saying, ‘I didn’t want to go’.”

  “She was only 32,” said Sunshine.

  Gil looked around the room like he could hear something the others couldn’t. “I hear music,” he said. “It sounds like a live band… There are people everywhere and bright lights… I feel like I’m at a rock concert.”

  “Mom died at a Peter Frampton concert,” explained Breeze.