Hits & Mrs. Page 3

  He was fired.

  Aunt Tillie convinced him to take a job doing psychic readings for customers at a coffee shop in Santa Barbara. He worked there for a year although it didn’t seem like much of a job until one morning when Gil was honored to give a reading to television psychic Celeste Stone. She was impressed with his accuracy and said, “You’re good. If you want to be the best, call me.” He called her that afternoon. That night he demonstrated his talents to her, and the next day he moved into her beachside home. Celeste became his mentor and nurtured his psychic gifts. Some 35 years older than him, she also became his sugar mama. She indulged his taste for haute couture clothing, good food, and fine wine, and he indulged her taste for younger men.

  Under Celeste’s tutelage, with the help of his spirit guides, and unfettered by psychic trappings, Gil was able to hone his natural abilities. He discovered that he had many metaphysical skills. As a psychic medium he could communicate with spirits, and as a channeler he could actually manifest the dead in physical form. Spirits could talk through him. As a psychic he had the gift of past, present, and future sight. As a spiritual counselor and teacher he could educate people about the paranormal and counsel them in their crises. As an empath and medical intuitive he could diagnose disease in people. He doesn’t like to call himself a spiritual healer; genuine healers never do, although people reported experiencing healings, miracles, and life transformations in his presence. At this time he left Celeste, when he realized he was more spiritually advanced than she was, but it suited her because she realized she wanted to upgrade to a newer model.

  Taking advantage of the contacts he made through Celeste, Gil landed a late night gig with radio station KNOW in Santa Barbara. On Insight he talked about a variety of self-help paranormal subjects, including psychic development, exploring past lives, and dream interpretation. A favorite segment of listeners was when he predicted the news for the following day. He always did a better job than the weatherman. The show had a steady stream of callers hoping to hear from their deceased loved ones.

  One night a widow called into the show. Her husband had an urgent message for her; she needed to visit a doctor immediately. He wanted to see her again, but it wasn’t her time yet and she was sick. The woman called back the following week. She’d seen a specialist who diagnosed her with heart disease, but her condition had been detected just days before it became life threatening.

  “Gil is a godsend!” she praised him. From that moment on, Gil Faulkner became known as Gil Godsend.

  Gil got his big break when he gave an impromptu psychic reading to a producer who recognized him in a Los Angeles bar. The man asked about the success of his next reality TV series Booobs!, a paranormal show in which ghost hunters investigate haunted places in the nude. Yes, the show was going to have a successful run on Spike TV, but during the reading a relative kept butting in with an important message from beyond.

  “Uncle Larry is sorry for molesting you all of those years,” Gil revealed.

  The producer didn’t say a single word, but handed Gil his business card. Three months later he became the star of his own TV show, Between Heaven and Earth with Gil Godsend.

  The show was filmed in front of a live studio audience and Gil gave readings to members of the crowd. On other TV shows, psychic mediums play a game of charades and make the audience do all of the work by asking, “Who is ‘K’?” or “Who likes surfing?” Their messages from the dead are vague and ambiguous. But Gil was known for his astonishing accuracy. He provided incredible detail in his readings, which people validated in interviews afterwards. The show also followed him outside of the studio as he gave spontaneous readings to strangers in the supermarket, in restaurants, and on the street. After one year, Gil became producer of the show, which was aired across the United States, and in Canada, the U.K., Australia, and New Zealand.

  Between Heaven and Earth propelled Gil to stardom. He became a personal psychic to celebrities, politicians, and other high-profile clients. He earned the reputation of being a psychic to his fellow psychics; he was a psychic’s psychic. Gil was a frequent guest on numerous radio and television shows and was invited to lecture at universities and for Fortune 500 corporations. The Texas Rangers and other law enforcement agencies enlisted his help as a psychic detective for his expertise in cracking cold cases, although he keeps his involvement in these confidential.

  As 21 Days With Gil Godsend shows, Gil’s is a true rags to riches story of a man who went from a modest family upbringing to living on the streets, to fame and fortune. He moved back to NorCal where he bought a palatial six-bedroom home in the lush green hills of San Rafael complete with a library, sauna, and an air-conditioned wine cellar. By the tender age of 30 Gil had already enjoyed a distinguished career. But he realized that his loyal fans, people who desperately needed psychic readings with him, faced a long five-year wait. After six seasons, Gil quit his show so that he could focus on private readings and writing. He penned the books Peeking Through the Veil, Psychic Confessions, and the New York Times bestseller Between Heaven and Earth. His latest title is Messages From The Other Side, which he’s currently promoting on a nationwide tour.

  Psychics are always under attack from nonbelievers and Gil has his share of rabid critics. Over the years, many skeptics have tried to debunk and discredit him. He’s been branded a con artist, a charlatan, and a fraud that preys on people’s vulnerability and grief. In particular, professional skeptic Claudia Cox is his long-term nemesis who has tried and failed to expose him on numerous occasions. She argues that Gil uses magic tricks in his readings and only pretends to have psychic abilities. Gil staunchly denies these claims. It’s important to mention that Claudia and Gil were once lovers, and she only started attacking him after he broke up with her. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned…

  Skeptics say, “Extraordinary claims require extraordinary proof” and Gil provides that extraordinary proof with his validation. Through him, the spirits validate readings for his clients with highly specific details, to prove that he is in communication with their deceased loved ones. He boasts 99% accuracy in his readings and his psychic skills have been confirmed by numerous laboratory studies.

  Gil insists, “I’m not here to prove to the skeptics that psychics are real”. He always invites his audience to make up their own minds about the paranormal with his catch phrase, “Do psychic powers exist? It’s up to you to decide…”

  Rather than wasting his time arguing with skeptics, Gil focuses his energy on those who truly need him. There are many people who are in mourning and craving closure and reassurance that their friends and family are doing well on the spirit side. Gil is a bridge from the physical world to those on other planes of life, and he helps both the dead and the living to find peace. He also advises people who are searching for guidance and support in their daily lives.

  Gil Godsend has touched the lives of millions of people around the world, and inspired them with his wisdom, joy, and love.

  Chapter 3

  As she slept, Claudia Cox dreamed she was the host of a tacky television game show. The stage looked like a newscast set in drag with its sequined gold curtains, plastic palm trees, and flashing neon lights. The contestants were male “celebrities” from the previous decade who were greedily demanding their second fifteen minutes of fame. They knew that any appearance on television offered them the possibility of a role on a reality TV show. The contestants were all drunk, and in trying to outdo each other for attention they used cheesy pick up lines on her as they pounded their buzzers incessantly. Claudia gradually began to wake up and in her grogginess she realized that the “buzzer” was actually her cell phone buzzing with text messages. Then she remembered the events of the night before.

  She was drinking a glass of red wine in a fashionable bar in the mid-Market area of San Francisco. Wearing a figure-hugging black sheath dress with peep toe pumps and showing a bit of leg, it wasn’t long before an inebriated businessman approached and hit on he
r. He bought her another cabernet sauvignon, which also bought him time to bore her with stories about his new Lamborghini. She thought he was sleazy, egotistical, and obnoxious, and that he suffered a rampant case of halitosis, but when he asked for her phone number she gave it to him eagerly and accompanied by a charming smile. It was her job. No, she wasn’t an escort or a prostitute. Claudia was the owner of Suspicious Minds, a private detective agency that specializes in spouse surveillance. That is, catching cheating partners. This guy was her target.

  Distrustful wives and husbands rifle through their significant other’s phones, emails, credit card statements and bank accounts looking for telltale signs of marital infidelity. Claudia’s clients make a pre-emptive strike against adultery instead. Her agency spies on spouses and puts them to the test. If given the opportunity, would they cheat? Her clientele consisted mostly of women who suspected that their men were cheating, or were at least capable of having an affair. These were wives and girlfriends, and even competitive mistresses who feared the men they were cheating with were also cheating on them. Most often, their suspicions were correct. Claudia had a stunning stable of decoys to appease the taste of every type of cheater; gorgeous blondes, brunettes, redheads, and raven-haired ladies of all different shapes, sizes, and ethnicities. The chosen decoy would have a “chance” encounter with the target, flirt shamelessly with him, and then offer her phone number. If the guy accepted her number, or worse still, called or texted her, he failed the fidelity test.

  Claudia had already received nine text messages from last night’s creep. It must have been some kind of record.

  10:09 PM Hey baby. It was great meeting you tonight.

  10:34 PM You looked so fucking hot in that little black dress, baby.

  11:12 PM I should be fucking that tight little pussy of yours right now.

  11:56 PM Good night, baby.

  2:32 AM Are you awake, baby? Call me if you want some phone fun.

  5:47 AM Good morning, baby.

  6:28 AM Hey baby. It was great meeting you last night.

  7:03 AM Are you free for breakfast this morning, baby?

  8:38 AM Hey baby. Are you free for lunch?

  Claudia needed to eat breakfast and then call the guy’s wife to reveal that her husband had come onto her and sent her dirty text messages all night long. Unlike most other clients, this woman wouldn’t be devastated by the news of his attempted infidelity. In fact, he’d cheated on her before with an intern at work. His wife caught him red-handed. She’d stopped by his office to bring him his lunch but found a naked woman spread-eagled across his desk. He was down on his knees already eating something else… Surprising their friends and family, the couple reconciled and formed a pact that if he was unfaithful just one more time, it was over. She knew he would cheat again but she didn’t want to wait for that to happen. She wanted a divorce immediately, and she wanted her husband’s money. Now she was going to get it.

  Claudia’s phone buzzed with a tenth text from the asshole.

  9:11 AM “Baby?”

  “Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Claudia huffed. So, she needed to eat breakfast, call the guy’s wife, and then buy a new burner phone so he couldn’t text her anymore.

  Claudia had a full day of investigative work across the San Francisco Bay Area. Her morning would be spent flirting with a personal trainer at a gym in Novato to see if he became too personal during their chest pull stretches. Her afternoon would be spent viewing a house in Sausalito and asking playfully if real estate brokers ever have sex in empty properties. Her evening would be spent luring an architect in a Sunnyvale sushi restaurant to see if he would take the bait. Her night would be spent “accidentally” bumping into a doctor at a pub in Emeryville to see if he was wearing his wedding ring or if he’d “misplaced” it again.

  Claudia was an attractive woman with long, wavy auburn hair and hazel eyes that captivated people. They changed color depending on what she was wearing, as hazel eyes do, but most of the time they were a fiery amber color with flecks of gold. As a professional prick teaser, she needed to stay in shape. She worked out at the gym six days a week and maintained a strict diet. As part of her beauty routine she had a blowout twice a week, and she enjoyed weekly manicures, bi-weekly pedicures, and monthly facials. She had regular massages and tried all of the latest, craziest spa treatments, whether it was a bee venom facial or one of those pedicures where the tiny fish nibble the dead skin off your feet.

  Claudia spent most of her income on clothing, shoes, jewelry, and other accessories. Most of her targets were high net worth individuals who worked in banking and finance, so she had to look the part of a successful businesswoman, although she was often mistaken for a model or a high-class escort. She didn’t like the fact that her job was often likened to that of a prostitute, without the sex part, although that was a crucial distinction in her eyes.

  Claudia made herself a hearty breakfast of steel cut oats topped with sliced almonds and drizzled with honey, and she sat down at her laptop to check her emails. She opened her inbox and immediately deleted a discount offer for Viagra and a business proposition from a Bolivian Prince. As she looked at the few remaining legitimate emails, one stood out like the flashing neon lights in her dream.

  The subject title said: "Gil Godsend."

  “Oh, for fuck’s sake…” she said as she closed her eyes and shook her head. There was a blast from the past she’d rather forget. She opened the email reluctantly.

  Dear Ms. Cox,

  A week ago I had a private reading with psychic medium Gil Godsend. Something strange happened during that session. Since that time, I’ve been reading your articles and I think you might be able to help me. Can we meet?

  Yours Sincerely,

  Kate Thompson.

  Before she became a private detective, Claudia had been what the media like to call a “professional skeptic”, whatever that is. She was a journalist who wrote about the paranormal, but there wasn’t a qualification or any training for what she did. She investigated all kinds of strange phenomena; haunted houses, UFOs, Bigfoot, and psychics. Claudia got her start in the game when she finished college and started an internship with a science magazine. After covering boring science fairs for a few weeks, one day her editor asked her to become a paranormal spy. Like a kind of modern-day Mata Hari, without the exotic dancing, she went undercover and infiltrated cults, psychic hotlines, and other shady operations to expose their scams. As a result, she became deeply involved in a movement known as skepticism, although she wasn’t a cynic like the bald, fat old men you see on TV who debunk everything. She was truly fascinated by the supernatural. She wished that ghosts, aliens, and psychic powers were real, but to her, there just wasn’t any convincing evidence to say they do exist.

  It was during this time that Claudia met Gil at a metaphysical fair in Monterey. She noticed the handsome young man as they were both browsing a shop that sold crystal ornaments and jewelry. She admired a pretty amethyst crystal pendant, and admired Gil’s ass, before she walked away. A few minutes later Gil caught up with her. He had bought her the amethyst pendant. They began talking and walked around the fair together, laughing at the women psychics in their gypsy clothes and the men in their puffy satin shirts and turbans, who looked like something out of a Zoltar fortuneteller machine. Then he invited her to a coffee shop. Over a latte she discovered that Gil was clever, funny, and a psychic medium. It was lust at first sight and the two of them went back to his place.

  Sure, Gil was a psychic medium, but she wasn’t prejudiced against those with different beliefs to her, especially if they were good looking. If anything, their differences in opinion led to some intense discussions, and when they argued, which was often, some hot make-up sex afterwards. There was even the occasional moment when she wondered if he might be truly psychic, such as the time she modeled her new leather jacket for him and he asked, “Why did you buy that jacket today? It goes on sale next Tuesday.”

  She never quite knew if that w
as true psychic insight, or if he had fashion insider information about the sale because he was such a metrosexual.

  Claudia and Gil dated for about a year. After months of territory marking, where he left his ties and cufflinks at her place and she left lipsticks and mascara at his place, they moved into an apartment together in Santa Barbara. They were blissfully happy for a while, although their dinner parties were known for catastrophic, alcohol-fueled fights between skeptics and believers. For a few months they were even engaged. Gil proposed to her with an engagement plant instead of a ring. The potted plant was a white peace lily that they kept on a tabletop in their kitchen. As Gil put it romantically, the plant was to “watch their love grow”, but instead it withered and died. Claudia tried not to see this as a sign. She realized they had such opposing beliefs that the relationship wasn’t ever going to work out, despite the fact that Gil believed they had been married in a previous life and Aunt Tillie had told him that Claudia was crucial to his success and happiness.

  Claudia broke up with him.

  Gil was a nice guy and she would have stayed with him if only he’d been a teacher or a nurse, instead of a psychic medium. He begged Claudia to come back to him, and she almost gave in because she still loved him. In the end, she made the decision to move on with her life and she consoled herself with a hunky firefighter from Fresno. Gil distracted himself with an endless string of married women and widows.